Nurturing a covenant marriage

There are two types of marriages. There are contractual marriages and covenant marriages. We may have a temple wedding but our actions will make the difference between a contractual and a covenant marriage. Bruce C. Hafen in an Ensign article in November of 1996 titled “Covenant Marriage” said,

When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent. Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will.

There are many ways to elevate the quality of your marriage. We will have been married 25 years this fall. Sometimes married couples tend to get comfortable and let the little things slide. I have been thinking about implementing marriage “rules” for more than a month now. They are not big endeavors but we know that small efforts will add up to big results. I say that they are not big endeavors because some people do these types of things every day but we had not for a long time, since it was one of the things that we had let slide. I talked to my husband this past weekend and we set up some rules for the two of us. The two rules that we bring into play most often are a Good Morning and Goodnight kiss and hug and a kiss goodbye and hello each time one of us leaves without the other. We do a few other things that help to keep us connected. We try to attend the temple at least once a month, if not twice, together. We usually try to eat out when we go to make the day last a little longer. It gives us more time to talk. What are some spoken or unspoken rules you have with your spouse that helps you elevate your marriage to a covenant marriage?

We are one week or so into the rules now and I can tell you the rules have made a significant difference. We kiss more. We talk more. We call each other out when we miss a rule then we get to kiss even more. I feel a lot closer to my husband and it helps me think about him more often through the day.

My grandparents will have been married 70 years in July. They have a covenant marriage. Their children haven't followed suit as well as they should have. No one is perfect and it's never too late to hitch up your pant legs and get on the path to a better marriage. Here's what 70 years looks like:

(Okay, I lied. These pictures were taken 4 years ago but you see what I mean.)