Are you in the danger zone?

Satan is cunning and smart. He knows that we are not going to jump right into an affair but if he can lure us inch by inch he will be successful. Goddard taught about the stages of unfaithfulness in his chapter on Purity. 

1. The first stage is quite innocent. “We do good, helpful things: supporting a troubled neighbor, sharing gospel ideas with a ward member, working closely with another person on a ward activity, listening to the troubles of a co-worker.” He says the trouble begins when you feel responsible or close to a person that isn’t your spouse. 
2. The next stage is when one or both people declare that the relationship is “special”. Nothing immoral is going on but they make excuses to see each other or exchange gifts. A good tell-tale sign that a relationship is not proper is when the people involved worry about what could be said about them or what their spouses may think. 
3. What Goddard calls the final stage is when physical affections are exchanged no matter how minor. A squeeze. A kiss. Even though intercourse is avoided, the damage to the other relationships is not. He says, “Trust is destroyed. Covenants, with all of their glorious promises, are wasted.”

Repentance is necessary and available but it would be better to avoid this type of relationship in the first place. Goddard gives us 10 guidelines to follow to help us prevent trouble.

1. Do not allow the seeds of lust to germinate. No looking at another with lust or fantasizing about them. 
2. Never make excuses to spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse. 
3. Take responsibility for the messages that you give. No flirting.
4. Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone. No daydreams.
5. If you find yourself making excuses for continuing the relationship, you are addicted. Get help. 
6. Spend more enjoyable time with your spouse. Improve your relationship. Remember no marriage is perfect. 
7. Renew your spiritual efforts. Pray, read scriptures, give service and love your family. 
8. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Avoid the person. 
9. Keep your soul free of the soul-numbing barrenness of pornography. 
10. Celebrate the sweet gift of companionship. Renew your relationship with your spouse.

I hope you are not sitting there saying, “It will never happen to me.” I know too many people who never thought they would be found on the wrong side of the line. You are right when you say you will not have an affair tomorrow but you might find yourself in the first influences of Satan and months down the road you will not recognize yourself. I am thankful that I have been blessed to be strong in this area of marriage but I do not kid myself that it cannot happen to me. I have practiced several of Goddard’s guidelines to prevent it and intend to incorporate more of them. My marriage is worth it.