This page is to examine the connection between faith and successful marriages and families, based on the social science record. As part of this examination, a central element of faith--prayer--is explored and its connection to successful marriages and families.
Readers should be aware that it is difficult, perhaps impossible, for social science to "prove" that faith "causes" stronger marriages or other family outcomes. It is reasonable to conclude, for example, that persons in a healthy marriage are more likely to want to attend church together than a couple who are facing divorce. So, does faith influence family or does family influence faith? The answer is almost certainly both--but in terms of social science, the best we can usually do is to discover and examine correlations, or relationships, between ideas such as faith and the quality of family life.
Dimension One: Religious Community and Family
Religious community and marital fidelity-One recent study reported "that with the exception of two religious groups, holding any religious affiliation is associated with reduced odds of marital infidelity compared to those with no religious affiliation." It seems that the combination of marital satisfaction and shared religious involvement may work together to provide an effective preventive maintenance program for marital fidelity.
Religious community and avoidance of pornography, violence, and conflict-A recent study addressed Internet pornography, a growing concern because of its negative effects on the marital relationship and family ties , and found that greater church attendance was related to lower rates of pornography use. Similarly, another study found that regular attendance at religious services was related to lower rates of domestic violence for men and women.
Religious community and the importance of being "equally yoked"-Differences in religious attendance also relate to increased conflict around parenting, as well as other domains of life. Faith involvement can be a unifying blessing or a contentious curse. Religious commitments that reportedly help bind marriages when shared often produce tension and conflict when these commitments are unshared. This is especially true of faiths that require significant sacrifices of time and money.
Religious community and mothering-Women who are involved in a faith community are significantly more likely to have children. Research indicates that religious involvement and engagement influence family-related decisions (like the type of marriage, timing of marriage, and fertility) and that family decisions (for example, divorce or voluntary childlessness) can negatively influence religious involvement.
Religious community and fathering-A man with serious religious commitment and involvement, on average, is more likely than one with little or no religious involvement to:
- remain sexually chaste before marriage and faithful to his marriage vows
- be and remain committed to marriage and children even during times of difficulty and thus not bring the trials and challenges of divorce upon his wife and children
- be highly involved in the lives of his children of his children and parent with higher degrees of emotional warmth
- practice kindness and mercy in his relationship with his children and be less likely to abuse his children
- remain involved with his children in the face of challenging circumstances such as dissolution of marriage or disability of a child
- avoid practices that harm family relationships such as substance abuse, crime, violence, child abuse, pornography, gambling, and idleness.
Dimension Two: Religious Practices and Family
The religious practice of prayer in marriage-Over the past 15 years, prayer has received increased attention in connection with marriage. A qualitative study by Butler and colleagues produced several finding that were substantiated and supported by a quantitative study. These findings included participants' statements of belief that prayer enhanced experiences of emotional validation; promoted accountability toward deity; de-escalated negative interactions, contempt, hostility, and emotional reactivity; enhanced relationship behavior; facilitated partner empathy; increased self-change focus; encouraged reconciliation and problem-solving; and promoted a sense of guidance from God.
The religious practice of family rituals-Several religious practices increase the quality of a family relationship. These include meaningful religious holiday rituals and home-based family worship such as Family Home Evening.
Religious practices and the parent-child bond-Rituals can be powerful, but sometimes simple conversation can be salient as well. One study found that most Christian mothers in their study frequently engaged in discussions with their children regarding matters of faith--a practice that has been reported to be influential, even years later in children's lives. Kind, loving behavior by parents seems to facilitate the ability of a child to conceive of (and believe in) a loving God, while hostile parental practices seem to dispel a child's faith in a benevolent supreme being.
Dimension Three: Religious Beliefs and Family
Religious beliefs and parenting-Studies indicate that mothers in more positive mother-child relationships are more likely to transmit their religious beliefs to their adolescent children, and that agreement between mothers and their children on religious issues protects against child depression.
Research from the past decade or so has linked religious beliefs with higher levels of fathers' care for and commitment to children as well as increased father involvement.
Religious beliefs and marriage-Statistical and real-world differences in marriage tend to emerge when we compare spouses who share religious involvement with those who do not. Religious beliefs increase the sanctity of marriage and gives it a sacred, spiritual, or religious character.
From the textbook, Successful Marriages and Families, Hawkins, Alan J., Dollahite, David C., & Draper, Thomas W., 2012.
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