When is the last time?....

This video is wonderful counsel that can be applied to marriages. I come from a different angle this week. Our huge extended family had to bury a sweet beautiful little 2 year old on Saturday. She was found face down and unconscious in the family pool last Monday night. She sneaked back out after the family came in from swimming. It just as easily been my husband involved in a car accident or my son or my father in law in a work accident, my three girls and me in a plane crash on our way home from visiting my sister for an 11 day vacation. We were on a flight as Susie passed away. I just read of a 92-year-old family member of family on my mom’s side who died in his own home when an impaired driver crashed through his garage and it caught on fire. We really do not know which time will be the last time we see our family members. One of the things my kids said was they wondered what the last thing each of the brothers and sisters said to Susie. I immediately though of the huge amount of contention in our home. It scares me. Have you forgiven your spouse or are these some of the last words you've spoken to them as they've walked out the door?

In chapters 8 and 9 of John M. Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” he teaches about solvable problems and perpetual problems and working on them. Most every marriage is going to have problems. Gottman says it is not the number of problems we have but how we handle them that can determine the success of the marriage. If we can recognize a perpetual problem and learn coping skills to ease the irritation and discomfort the marriage will be okay.

Another thing that stood out to me this week is an experiment suggested by H. William Goddard. In chapter 6 of his book “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage”, Goddard talks about Consecration. The Law of Consecration is the willingness to turn over everything we have to Heavenly Father for the building of His kingdom. We have to be willing to give all of ourselves to our marriage. His experiment at the end of the chapter is for 30 days be willing to show nothing but kindness and appreciation to your partner. Set aside complaints and disappointments and see the good intentions and best efforts of your partner. 

How would you do?? Would you feel better about the last few days you had with your significant other? Comment with your thoughts.